My mother doesn't like me. I look like her but I don't think like her, act like her, have most her interests or her life goals. I'm asexual, I have no plans to have kids and likely don't see myself getting married now or in the future.
When she got into a physical altercation between my sisters and my roommate, I chose them over her. My siblings have had my back for years now, and it was time I repay the favor, especially after we learned that she pushed my roommate's cat out the window during her moving process and shut her out with no regards for what might happen to her. Fortunately a neighbor caught her and returned her to my roommate after a little less than a month, and she is now safe at home with her. She also attempted to cut off her stepfather, who is housing my roommate and one of my sisters. He had to change the locks for the first time in probably decades because my mother has been on a downward spiral since we all made the decision to move out and she had lost multiple lawsuits that she attempted to file against them.
I've stopped interacting with her almost entirely and barely see her anymore. Since February I've gone on multiple day trips with my sisters and this coming January we will be skipping her birthday to get a cabin in the mountains out of state to celebrate my own birthday that same weekend, followed by a cruise in February. I just spent Thanksgiving week with my grandfather and sisters and friends over my mom, our first major holiday without her after she skipped out on multiple birthdays throughout the year within the family. Neither her brother nor her stepfather have spoken to her in several months and I can tell they're grieving in their own way. When my great aunt made an offer to us about her husband's scooter I told my aunt I'd purchase it myself because by that point I did not feel safe letting her sell it to my mother to give to me, let alone keep it at her residence. I live in a more hood county but I'd rather run the risk of keeping my vehicle with me than let her try to hold it over my head as some narcissistic collateral.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
Since I looked like her I guess she expected that I would be her mini me. When I was younger we were somewhat close, but after I began figuring myself out, especially when it came to my sexuality, that's where she started to change how she treated me. For the record, she was one of those “you'll change your mind” parents, especially when it came to sex, kids and marriage. From a young age I knew that I didn't see myself being a mom, at least not biological. I've considered adoption but who knows where that will go. I also was not interested in having sex and was indifferent to the idea of marriage.
Today I read romantasy novels and yes, there's sex, especially in the ones by a favorite author of mine who writes well enough that the sex scenes are easy to dismiss. I also read manga, sew, do diamond art and watch anime, hobbies that she herself does not enjoy. I drink both pepsi and coke products and prefer vanilla over chocolate, I don't like her meatloaf and liverwurst makes me feel physically ill. I also look better in red than she does and prefer green, blue, yellow and peach whereas she loves almost exclusively purple and she hates pink whereas I like wearing pink makeup and pink accessories.
